Girl: I keep staring at the stars hoping to find myself in them…but the more I stare, the more feel as though I was never one with them, I never existed. I keep looking at their light, their shine and hope it sparks something within me, but they make me realize that I am dead within.
Sometimes, if I am lucky enough…I will see a little star that is not as pretty as the rest, I would look at it shine a little brighter every now and then as it passes next to the big bright ones…my eyes will follow it until I see it no more. Those are my favourite stars, the ones that look as though they have put up a fight before they die. I wish I were them; I wish I had their strength…the strength to just keep moving… but I don’t.
Some nights: most nights I would look high up in the sky and see no star. At this point the reality would strike…somewhere up there; there are stars, but no one ever sees them as they are covered by clouds. These images feel more at home, they are more of a reality for me.
I feel like a cartoon character that walks around with a dark cloud following it. I long for the rays of the sun, I long for the warmth of the moon, I long for the beautiful shine of the stars but there is just this cloud that won’t move.
There are days where I get up and it feels like sunshine and rainbows, but those moments never last. It’s as though some higher power has an eraser, it takes it and without even thinking of it, it erases the sunshine…it erases the rainbow, and it replaces them with a huge dark cloud and strikes of lightning.
It feels a little better when I sleep with the curtains open, for I look at the stars and I worry so much about the little one that keeps moving; that I forget to worry about myself. I go to sleep a little happy, with a beautiful image in my head. I dream of the same little star singing, dancing, and shining brighter.
I hope I am finally one with the stars.
