It wasn’t always gloomy, this belief thing. I remember during one of our late night drunk moments; a friend of mine said to me:
“Sometimes it is not that God doesn’t want to bless us. In actual fact, He wants to bless us and grant us our wishes. The only issue is that we are not specific enough when we ask Him for things. You ask God for something but in the same breath, you are longing for the opposite. If you ask Him and truly ask Him when you are certain, then He will deliver. In fact don’t ask, tell Him”
I had a moment of thinking “He is mos a God and must know what we need. Why should He get confused by our uncertainty” …quickly followed by “wait, you have actually had a lot of incidents where you asked for opposite things”
A few days later, I had an opportunity to test this theory. See, I was part of a program whose final round was to take the best theatrical show on a tour. Having worked hard, we learnt that there was unfairness. A group was already selected months before we had to learn the results. At that very moment we realised that we were actually being used and didn’t stand a chance. Me being me, I confronted the coordinators and they denied all allegations. However, I knew that they were lying.
I remember going back home quite upset, confiding in my partner. I then remembered the words of my then drunk friend and so I decided to go have a one on one with God. I poured water in the bathtub, played serenading instrumentals, burnt incense and meditated. Let us just say my conversation with God that day was unlike any other. It felt like I was disrespecting Him a whole lot but I didn’t care, I needed to tell Him what I wanted without being apologetic about it.
“Look, if you really put me in a situation where I am being used then let your will be done. However, you will get my show to international grounds and to the following theatres…”
I then mentioned all the theatres I wanted to tour to and mentioned all the terms and conditions. The condition mostly being, they all have to be paying gigs.
Trust me when I say that I managed to do all that I told Him I wanted to do. All within a short space of time. The twist to the international tour however was that …He brought the international people to me, instead of me going to them. My show was on the programme for the Global Leadership Summit 2018. Never did I feel that close to God. He went from being a God who disappoints to a God who actually cares and provides for me. Before all these miracles happened, I actually resented God for all that He took away from me. Finally, I felt His love.
I believed, more than I ever did before.
Jane Mpholo is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist, entrepreneur, and changemaker from Botshabelo, South Africa. As CEO of Jane Mpholo Pty Ltd, she is pioneering work in theatre, film, and site-specific performance art. The first recipient of the CCIA’s “Outstanding Actor in Theatre” award, she has performed, written, and produced for national and international stages. Honored with two honorary awards from Onalerona Productions NPC and the Southern Region Women in Media Awards, she is a mentor, producer, and advocate for inclusivity. Through bold storytelling, she sparks important conversations, shaping the performing arts landscape and inspiring change worldwide.
