Girl: I keep staring at the stars hoping to find myself in them…but the more I stare, the more feel as though I was never one with them, I never existed. I keep looking at their light, their shine and hope it sparks something within me, but they make me realize that I am dead within.
Sometimes, if I am lucky enough…I will see a little star that is not as pretty as the rest, I would look at it shine a little brighter every now and then as it passes next to the big bright ones…my eyes will follow it until I see it no more. Those are my favorite stars, the ones that look as though they have put up a fight before they die. I wish I were them, I wish I had their strength…the strength to just keep moving….but I don’t.
Some nights; most nights I would look high up in the sky and see no star. At this point the reality would strike…somewhere up there; there are stars but no one ever sees them as they are covered by clouds. These images feel more at home, they are more of a reality for me.
I feel like a cartoon character that walks around with a dark cloud following it. I long for the rays of the sun, I long for the warmth of the moon, I long for the beautiful shine of the stars but there is just this cloud that won’t move.
There are days where I get up and it feels like sunshine and rainbows, but those moments never last. It’s as though some higher power has an eraser, it takes it and without even thinking of it, it erases the sunshine…it erases the rainbow and it replaces them with a huge dark cloud and strikes of lightning.
It feels a little better when I sleep with the curtains open, for I look at the stars and I worry so much about the little one that keeps moving; that I forget to worry about myself. I go to sleep a little happy, with a beautiful image in my head. I dream of the same little star singing, dancing and shining brighter.
I hope I am finally one with the stars
Jane Mpholo is a multi-award winning theatre Practitioner and an Audience Development Specialist at the Performing Arts Centre of the Free State (PACOFS) . She has been active on both the national and international platforms with collaborations with practitioners from the Netherlands, USA and Australia, to name a few. Jane is a senior judge for the World Monologue Games and World Monologue Film Festival. Her highlights as a writer include being chosen as one of the 5 top playwrights for the NATi Yong Sterre program for her script "The Dawn", making it to the top 20 playwrights list for the African Women Playwrights Festival of Plays for her script "The Naked Truth" (which she later turned into a short film) and having her script "Fragmented" on the program for Teksmark 2022. Her autobiographical show "Psalm 69" has proved to be timeless and has showcased on both the national and international platforms such as the Global leadership summit 2018. Jane is a panel member for the National Arts Council and is a former FS Provincial Liaison for the BASA Debut Program. She is a recent graduate for the BASA Cultural Producers Program, an initiative between British Council; BASA, Common Purpose and the Manchester International Festival. Her short film "Cleanse" which looks at the life of a woman under oppression as a domestic worker has won multiple international awards and aired on DSTV pop up channel 150 (Woordfees TV 2022). Jane is also one of the contributors for the Stemme/Voices monologues 2022, an initiative by the Suidoosterfees.
Jane practices as a professional actor (has over 40 theatrical shows under her belt), playwright, producer, dramaturge, facilitator, arts coach , speaker and mentor. She is passionate about inclusive education and creating a safe space for audiences to engage in discussions pertaining to the social ills of the world. She is a true advocate for human rights.
Amongst the many awards and recognitions....she is a three times Kyknet Fiesta Nominated artist and made it to the lists "Mail and Guardian Women Changing South Africa" and the "Sunday World Unsung Heroes 2022".
13 thoughts on “SCENE 5: “One with the stars””
This is me, I like looking and the moon or clouds at and the is this calmness that comes with it. It is like an escape of what you currently going through. Even the writing is relatable now I want to read more. 🙂
Thank you so much I will definitely share more monologues. I appreciate this 🙏 ❤
There’s absolute beauty in the universe ne
I feel so understood. This came at a time when depression is swallowing me. Thank you for sharing, this is beautiful and sad all at the same time
Hey Mpho I am happy that you can relate but sad that you are currently going through that. I wrote the monologue while in a dark space, feeling depressed. I for one felt so much better after writing it hope you find peace in something…be it walking or writing or something really. Strength to you ❤
Great work
I appreciate you broer ❤
A strikingly familiar emotional confession.
Really beautiful
I told you I’m obsessed using the universe as symbolic lol.thank you so much this will definitely go well with that beautiful painting that you made
“My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?”
-David Mitchell
This beautifully written extract reminded me of the quote above. Though some stars shine brighter than others, we all have flickering moments yet still remain significant to the universe. Besides even dying stars could give birth to brand new planets.
Oh how beautiful. Thank you friend. I hope you are inspired to write some more because your comment made me sbwl i-monologue . Don’t let me down
A beautiful rendition of how we grow up believing that we are destined for greatness. We are gonna shine with the stars…. yet pretty soon, realities of life dim the brightness, the glow, the spark day by day. Untill one day in our forties we have no spark, no glow and have stopped looking out the window. Our curtains are closed and we are on survival mode.
Thank you Mamotse for reigniting the spark. Encouraging the young ones to keep to their very possible dreams and the old ones to remember the days of endless possibilities.
You are great…. BRAVO!!!!!!
I literally teared up as I read this. You touched on things that I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. Questioning life and asking if I’m indeed one with the stars or if I ever will be.
This monologue means something different to me at different stages of my life and what you said is what I currently relate to.
Thank you for putting in words what my thoughts have been as of late. I hope you feel whole and valuable. I hope you are happy and at your best place, holistically.