It was awfully awkward in the room then she said to me, “You might wanna fix yourself now.” I asked what for and she said; “Oh well suit yourself but should he find you still looking like this he will be angry”. I did not understand who or what we were talking about so I ignored her. I took my phone out and called my mom, when she picked up I could not say a word, I just cried. She told me I should not worry all will be well and I shall soon understand why. The man came in, threw some clothes at me, and smashed my phone on the floor. I was devastated; who the hell did he think he was? I had to sacrifice my lunch money to be able to afford that phone. As I reached for my phone he slapped me and told me to get ready.
The girl just looked at me and said “Askies, man I was once like you; believe me it gets better with time”. She took her gown off and walked out in lacy panties and a bra. I tried to stop her, I wanted to tell her that there was a bunch of men in the sitting room and she couldn’t walk out like that. Only then did it click to me. I thought I was overthinking until she came back in the room with one of the guys and started doing some nasty stuff.
I just froze. I did not know what to do. I got up and walked towards the main door but I was pulled back by the man. He said it seemed like I was going to be too much of a hassle so he had something to make life easy for me. He grabbed my arm and injected something into me. I don’t know what happened next but I woke up the next day naked, bleeding, and with a somewhat hell of a headache. Right there and there I knew he helped himself to me. I felt so betrayed by my mother. How could she? Who on earth gets to that point of desperation? Did she even care what I would have wanted? I could have even dropped out of school and found a job. I would do anything just so I didn’t end up here. All this time I had looked up to her and that is how she treats me. My whole world came crashing down on me; I felt so helpless.
This went on for some time. Eventually, the man that took me to that place was never there. I didn’t even get his name.
If I found my way to the police what was I going to tell them? That my mother gave me up to some man who took me to someplace in the middle of nowhere and fed me to his friends as a dog feeds on a bone?
It was one man after the other. For some reason they all wanted just me, they called me fresh meat. The other girl got envious somehow, I could not understand why on earth anyone would envy someone getting raped each day…. until she came up to me and said she misses it. She had been there for ten full years and was now addicted to it. Yes, abuse is addictive. One gets to a point where they just lose hope and the will to fight. A point where they just take life as it comes. I know this because I also got to that point. It’s like somehow you get brainwashed and end up feeling like there is no better world than the one you live in.
About six months later I remembered the note from that my mother, I thought to myself “let me just hear what this wicked woman was hoping to achieve by this”. It was a letter and it read:
My dearest Naledi
I pray that life is treating you well and that your studies are coming alright……
“I never wanted to let you go but I felt somehow at ease knowing you are in good hands. The man who is now taking care of you is a very good friend of mine from the past. He recently came back to my life and said he wanted to care for you. The timing was just perfect as you have also realized that my health was deteriorating…… He is your father.
I read this letter a thousand times now and I am still unable to finish reading the rest of it. She didn’t know, my mom didn’t know. She doesn’t know what my own father did to me!!!!
Jane Mpholo is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist, entrepreneur, and changemaker from Botshabelo, South Africa. As CEO of Jane Mpholo Pty Ltd, she is pioneering work in theatre, film, and site-specific performance art. The first recipient of the CCIA’s “Outstanding Actor in Theatre” award, she has performed, written, and produced for national and international stages. Honored with two honorary awards from Onalerona Productions NPC and the Southern Region Women in Media Awards, she is a mentor, producer, and advocate for inclusivity. Through bold storytelling, she sparks important conversations, shaping the performing arts landscape and inspiring change worldwide.
