I am a sinner, probably one of the biggest sinners on earth….well, I mean according to the Bible of cause.
- I love sex
- I kinda love alcohol
- I pierced my body
- I have 6 tattoos
- I have lied and cheated
Let’s just leave it at 5 because wow, I am a sinner!!!!!!
My career choice doesn’t help either. I have never met anyone as liberal, outgoing, and accepting of everyone else, the same way that an artist does. I love the LGBTQI community, I’ve had a few of my own experiences with women, I am friends with atheists, and I ask if anyone is uncomfortable with me praying in their presence…. I am almost everything that the Bible does not approve of, yet I identify as a Christian woman.
I think if I lived during the times depicted in the Bible, then there would be a chapter reflecting on my life. The book of Jane probably ends with me finding God or being stoned to death *sigh*.
My partner always makes a joke about heaven and hell. He says when he dies, he would not want to go to heaven because it is probably the most boring and depressing place ever.
“Imagine me chilling and trying to do my own thing then Moses comes and tells me it is my turn to hang the stars. Imagine having to read the Bible 24/7. I don’t see myself doing that” he would say.
A part of me gets this joke and I feel so damn guilty about that. People who are 100% devoted to the Christian life do not seem to know what the meaning of fun is. Oh but then again why am I judging? Their idea of fun doesn’t have to fit into mine.
Anyway, I spent most of my teenage years being promiscuous. I later learnt that it was a psychological thing. See, I was raped but it took me years to finally get what happened to me. In an attempt to find the self that I lost, I started being what they call a sl*t. I was trying so hard to find a man who would treat me right and fill the void that the other had left. I was a liberal, rebellious woman who was finally taking control of her body. Little did I know that my rapist was actually the one in charge of my thoughts and actions? Oh no, I am not trying to depress you, I am just trying to figure out if the Bible would give God or Satan the credit for how I turned out.
I mean… why didn’t God stop the rape from happening, why did he allow me to do further damage by doing everything I wasn’t supposed to do to the temple (my body)? If it is Satan who took control of me, why did God let him win? Actually, why are we going through so much bulls**t in the presence of Jesus and God?
Phew, this took a dark turn. Let me gather my thoughts and revert back to my journey next week. I am literally about to go ape sh*t on this conversation.
Jane Mpholo is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist, entrepreneur, and changemaker from Botshabelo, South Africa. As CEO of Jane Mpholo Pty Ltd, she is pioneering work in theatre, film, and site-specific performance art. The first recipient of the CCIA’s “Outstanding Actor in Theatre” award, she has performed, written, and produced for national and international stages. Honored with two honorary awards from Onalerona Productions NPC and the Southern Region Women in Media Awards, she is a mentor, producer, and advocate for inclusivity. Through bold storytelling, she sparks important conversations, shaping the performing arts landscape and inspiring change worldwide.
