To be honest, I never quite felt like I belong. I always figured there may be something off with me. I remember my mom literally had to force me to go to the Saturday church services tailor-made to train young ones to be one with God and to preach the gospel. We would be there for a certain time/months then finally we would finally graduate.
For others, the gospel came about so easily, for me, it felt like someone was trying to make me understand something in a language I am not familiar with. I even went on to try to memorize the names of the scriptures and to remember what the verses spoke of but I failed. I, later on, tried the newest versions of the Book, which left me feeling like a failure because I mean, this was supposed to come easy to me. The new versions sounded better, but it was still too much information for me to process.
At the services, they would get to a point where they force each of us to speak on the verse of the day. I would sit back and watch in awe how so many of my peers started sounding like the elders in our church. I would feel my heart beat ten thousand times louder and I would begin to sweat a bit. Every now and then I would look at the watch and hope I am saved by the bell. I would start contemplating going to the loo or just running away, but I knew this was important for my mom and so I stuck around. Randomly they would choose people and then, my turn. I would wake up and think I am speaking loud only to find out that I had been whispering. Unlike my peers, no one would nod and feel the power of the Holy Ghost as I spoke, no one commented, and no one connected….it was like those moments in radio drama where crickets chirped. I would then sit down, so embarrassed, and wish the ground could swallow me.
I couldn’t quite explain it but something about going to church did not feel right. I literally always felt like I could have been happier elsewhere. Maybe it was all the expectations or the language or the constant contradictions in the scriptures or the slow songs often led by an old lady who cannot sing to save her life….I still don’t know what the matter was. *sigh*
With that being said, I still gave The Book a chance and I had more questions than answers. I couldn’t relate to any of the characters. They didn’t seem anything like me and they surely didn’t portray the world as I know it. The films portrayed them as white, and I am black. Where were my people then? Why was Satan always the black guy?
Eish, I shouldn’t question The Book…it’s a sin!!!!
Wait, how come I don’t have any memory of my dad going to church?
Jane Mpholo is a multi-award winning theatre Practitioner and an Audience Development Specialist at the Performing Arts Centre of the Free State (PACOFS) . She has been active on both the national and international platforms with collaborations with practitioners from the Netherlands, USA and Australia, to name a few. Jane is a senior judge for the World Monologue Games and World Monologue Film Festival. Her highlights as a writer include being chosen as one of the 5 top playwrights for the NATi Yong Sterre program for her script "The Dawn", making it to the top 20 playwrights list for the African Women Playwrights Festival of Plays for her script "The Naked Truth" (which she later turned into a short film) and having her script "Fragmented" on the program for Teksmark 2022. Her autobiographical show "Psalm 69" has proved to be timeless and has showcased on both the national and international platforms such as the Global leadership summit 2018. Jane is a panel member for the National Arts Council and is a former FS Provincial Liaison for the BASA Debut Program. She is a recent graduate for the BASA Cultural Producers Program, an initiative between British Council; BASA, Common Purpose and the Manchester International Festival. Her short film "Cleanse" which looks at the life of a woman under oppression as a domestic worker has won multiple international awards and aired on DSTV pop up channel 150 (Woordfees TV 2022). Jane is also one of the contributors for the Stemme/Voices monologues 2022, an initiative by the Suidoosterfees.
Jane practices as a professional actor (has over 40 theatrical shows under her belt), playwright, producer, dramaturge, facilitator, arts coach , speaker and mentor. She is passionate about inclusive education and creating a safe space for audiences to engage in discussions pertaining to the social ills of the world. She is a true advocate for human rights.
Amongst the many awards and recognitions....she is a three times Kyknet Fiesta Nominated artist and made it to the lists "Mail and Guardian Women Changing South Africa" and the "Sunday World Unsung Heroes 2022".
