I suddenly have the urge to get a tattoo and I get all kinds of feelings. I ask myself questions like “which one will I go for this time around?” “Where will I place it?” “Am I sure I want one more?” “Wait a minute, did I think this through?” “Why does such a random thought feel so right?” …….WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????
Grief….that’s what is wrong with me. Suddenly I start seeing a pattern.
- Tattoos for my rebellious self for I can’t think of a less permanent way to piss you off.
- Tattoos in celebration of the milestones I have reached, making peace with your loss that is.
- Tattoos for the emotional pain I am not quite ready to deal with.
- Tattoos in memory of what once was.
- Tattoos for the beautiful place you hold in my heart.
- Tattoos that are declarations of the strength for my broken soul
- Tattoos for the love left behind
- Tattoos for the loss encountered
- Tattoos for the grief ignored
- Tattoos for I can’t bear the thought of completely letting you go.
- Tattoos for they are the only way I can carry you with me everywhere I go.
I can’t count to two for I am stuck on 1. I am stuck in the grieving process!!!! Sometimes I am not sure if I get tattoos for grief or for celebration….I don’t know if I should dance or if I should cry. The artwork on my body might be beautiful pieces of art, but they are also a reflection of the pain I have been through….The pain keeps representing itself in different forms when I least expect it.
- Tattoo in memory of mom and dad, a beautiful image of the universe
- Tattoo that I had to piss my sister off when she stepped in as my parent, a really bad one that I later covered up
- Tattoo of a butterfly with a face of the tiger, for the strength I have and for my fragile self
- A phoenix tattoo for when I lost my sister
- Theatre masks tattoo for every time art became therapeutic for me
- …………………….tattoo, in memory of my late brother.
Yes, I am once again getting a tattoo. Crying is too painful so I need to numb the pain …by feeling the pain on my skin.
Jane Mpholo is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist, entrepreneur, and changemaker from Botshabelo, South Africa. As CEO of Jane Mpholo Pty Ltd, she is pioneering work in theatre, film, and site-specific performance art. The first recipient of the CCIA’s “Outstanding Actor in Theatre” award, she has performed, written, and produced for national and international stages. Honored with two honorary awards from Onalerona Productions NPC and the Southern Region Women in Media Awards, she is a mentor, producer, and advocate for inclusivity. Through bold storytelling, she sparks important conversations, shaping the performing arts landscape and inspiring change worldwide.
